Voice

The voice tells me

Not enough
Too much

Contradictions
Yet the measure
By which I loose grip

Too little
Too late

The voice screaming
Telling me
I’m not enough

I did
not enough
I said
Too little
I’m not clear
I looked stupid
Must do more
Must say more
Must be more

Too much
Intense

The voice mocking
Showing me
Where I failed

I did
Far too much
I said
Too many things
Unnecessary
Straining
Annoying
Cast aside
My own fault

It says
Give up
Give in
Ruining everything
For everyone
Not worth
The hassle

I hate the voice…

Circles

Latched onto a beam of light
A ray in darkness
My prism is dirty
Though the light is pure,
The refractions are distorted

All my thoughts go in circles
“Did they understand this”
“Do they get that”
Am I only ever enough
Or do my presence break the light
Into shadows
Into no-light

Caught on a beam of bright
A warmth in sadness
My mind is filled
Am I smothering the heat
There’s a storm let inside.

All my thoughts go in circles
“Did I say enough”
“Did I say too much”
Am I all too much
Or am I dosing the fire
With unnecessary
Extra words

30 pieces

These pangs of despair,
Coins of anxiety.
How many sips
Of sobriety
‘Fore my soul declare-
This is enough.
You’ve had enough!

Thirty pieces deep.
Cut by the void in me.
As I hurl insecurities
At the world.

This hopeless affair,
Pieces of impurity.
Trickling blood of
My insecurity,
makes me solitaire.
This is enough.
I’ve had enough.

Thirty pieces deep.
Cut by the void in me.
I feel but obscurities
In my soul.

Maintenant

La tristesse durera toujours.
Les jours s’en vont, je demeure.
L’amour s’en va.

Braises de satin, parfum de
bruyère.
Me tient longtemps.

Je pense à toi.
Ne m’abandonne pas.
Ne me quitte pas,
Cela serait-il possible?

Et sinon,
Vivre, aimer, rire!

Les jours s’en vont,
je demeure.
L’amour s’en va.

La tristesse durera toujours.

Black bird

Free.
Unfurl those wings of black and fly.
Raven, twirl your hair and glisten your face.

Sun and moon in your eyes,
All the stars in your smile.

Heather woman,
Nothing holds you but yourself.
Free but caged by your own thoughts.

Fly.
Unfurl those wings and be free.
Like you have been.
As you should be.

Free.

Solution

I listened.
I heard what you said.
I understood.
I hurt, and you gave the solution.
Clear as a day.

I listened.
And you told me.
I did not ignore.
I hurt, and you offered respite.
And I heard.

I listened.
But the solution is pain.
I hurt and the sollution is misery, heartache.
I understood.

I listened.
You have the solution.
But I can’t.

I’m not sure I can heed.

I don’t know how.

I am weak.

Moving minds

I love you.

When your mind moves like mine.
Grasping every inch of my soul in an instant.
I love you.

When an unspoken word does not need to be spoken.
Effortless communication.
I love you.

When my heart breaks and you know without seeing.
Sweet nothings exchanged for peace of mind.
I love you.

When you break and reach out for me.
Knowing I would dance the world to its end for you.
I love you.

When you are at ease with me.
Seeing through all my flaws and make them my strengths.
I desire you.

You are beautiful.
Yet I would never see, unless.

Your mind moves like mine…

Brink

Trepidation brings me to the brink
Disquiet feelings of anguish

Can’t breathe
Can’t breathe

Vertigo taking me

Can’t think
Can not think

Perturbation of the heart and mind
Trepidation brings me to the brink…