Strings of possibilities
Were laid out in front of me
By the precious smile
The sun that shines
On everything.
Strands of instant rescuing
As they knew I would
If I only could
Climb right out of
The darkest pit.
And all I ever wanted
Was a friend
A ray of sun
Reaching down
Through the clouds
And all I ever wanted
Was salted earth,
Let to grow again
My darkness gone
And blossom again
Instead of bitter glass.
The string turned sour
The strand was ripped away
All this bitter glass
As they turn to rope.
Ropes of deep despair
Hanging ominous
If I only could
Escape them all
And not eat
This Bitter
Glass.
Bauble full of memories like embers
Slowly dying, gently, dosed out by tears
Your smile and comfort all I remember
As the bauble fills with angst and my fears
This cursed life, this half-Life, nears end
Robbed of any chance for normality
Thrown a lifeline by you helped me to mend
‘Twas lost to me, here comes fatality.
La doleur excuise, my dearest friend.
A friend all I lacked, I ever wanted.
Cheated by my own ardour in the end,
Trepidation storming, all destroyed.
And so you let loose this lifeline of mine.
Darkness, sleep, void! Take me and make all fine.
Between emptied hands my head hanging low.
Your smile and comfort all I remember.
Held onto memories, don’t want to go.
My very being, dosed out embers.
This love, this feeling, is not a passion.
It’s the warmth of the sun, the rays of light.
All for a brief moment of compassion.
Oh, how my fears brought on this cursed fright.
And although you cast me away like thus,
Discharged for reasons to myself unknown,
There is no anger, no wrath for to sus.
Only this dirge for the light once owned.
These dire straits, cannot make your light shine.
These paths of damnation lead to loosing mine.
As light pass to dark and gayles fill the night
So too does joy pass from glee to sorrow
Would it be nobler, pray, to hide this fright
Or to courage, gently, seek to borrow.
Icicles, glossy, sharp, and to the point.
Formed into shards of barbed hearts ache
Imagin’d, perhaps, but pierce and disjoint
Gargoyles jabbing, stabbing, give me the shake.
Come to flesh, or so it would surely seem
These monstrosities cause pain, struggle, and strife
Madness, then, course through my veins – friends would deem
As angst, for eternity, claim my life.
To sleep, to rest once more from this
In the arms of Morpheus flee to Dís.
Keep flying underwater Keep swimming underground Suffocating in the clouds I am waiting to be found Being burnt by the cold cold rooms of My mind The embers are all I have but they Are fading Fading from the cold cold rooms of My mind
Anxiety is running Through my veins and seams stalking my mind Corridors of soundless screams Lightless glow Embers of you get caught in the cold In the cold cold rooms of My mind
I know there’s a sun, but it won’t rise
Drowned by angst I look to the sky
They’re not there, I chased them away
Everyone is telling me I am wrong
I need to just focus, stay strong
But the voice saying different won’t die.
Conversations with the Muses 