Category: depression

Tree

A tree
I see the branches
In their winter coat
So winding
And empty
In need of decoration

Something hanging
Colours
To move as
the wind blows
Peaceful
Decorative perchance

To fill the ‘scape
Instead of leafs
Beautiful
Serene
Dangling in the wind

No rope
No will
No energy
Not today
Not
Today.

All the black crows

All the black crows
Leave me now
Emptying my chest
Leaving sorrow

Heart held out
It’s colder now
Emptiness fills
The hollow

Pains of my
Distress is there
No end to this
I fear tomorrow
And all that I can ever see
Is the pain
And misery
Caused to those
Surrounding me
And in the middle
The husk of me
And all the crows that fly away

Silence

Silence
It fills my mind
Screaming at me
All the unease is on
Me

But the silence is screaming at me
Pulling at the strings of my soul
Until only uncertainties remain
Unraveling it all

Water
The strings are drenched
The silence
Freezing them to be
Brittle

The silence is screaming at them
The strings of my soul so cold
Gnawing uncertainties that break
My unravelled mind

Must fill the silence

Anyway

Who am I to claim anything anyway
Tattered and torn
Fluttering to the wind
Like some castaway

Who am I to be anything anyway
Rough, uncut
Bull rushing through
A China display

Stupid, Clumsy, Hurting you
Everything I don’t want to be
Everything I don’t want to do

Who am I to want anything anyway
No demands
Only give up
Upset and afraid

As long as you don’t hurt.

Physicality of my fears

Cold claws
Gripping my heart
Churning and turning
My lungs
Until I cannot breathe

Hot knives
Cutting my mind
Stirring and burning
My thoughts
Until I cannot think

Fear grips my soul
As my thoughts betray me

This is not normal
Why is this fear
Tearing me apart
How is this anxiety
Invading my mind

I’m sorry
I’m useless
Forgive my
Obtuseness

Icy spikes
Piercing my soul
Stabbing and jabbing
My core
Until but panic remain

Mirror

I am a mirror
Cracked
Broken
Shattered
In pieces all over the floor

Memories of breaking
Break me again
Shatter my surface

Chills down my spine
As emptiness fill the cracks
Hands in my hair
Rocking back and forth
Commiserating myself

I am a mirror
Empty
Lightless
Negligible
Can’t see nothing in me

Fates to cinder

How cruel the Norns
Have woven my mind
Fit for a fate unknown.

Burn with desire
At both ends of wick
Freyr tells the tale too well.

None for pain
Nor hurt no one ever
Sunk into the well of Mimer

Knowing too well
The pain caused by care
Too much said for my own sake

Far from surprise
At the end of everything
As the wick burns to cinder

No water from well
Nor compassion from love
Can stop my fate from burning.

What bad may come

It’s not you, it’s me
You break away, but it isn’t you
You are the best part of life
My only regrets are hurting you
Hurting everyone

It’s not you, it’s me
I said nothing, but said too much
I didn’t see the signs at all
The unforseen consequence as such
Hurting everyone

You should know
I love you much
More than you can know
What bad may come
You touched
My soul
It isn’t you
It’s me

It’s not you, it’s me
No parlor tricks can’t save me now
Dress it down and up again
All I can do will be for show
Hurting everyone

I’m hurting everyone